Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Guest Post: Shaun David Hutchinson's Deathday List

I recently read, and enjoyed, Shaun David Hutchinson's debut novel The Deathday Letter. It got me thinking about what my deathday list would look like, and what I'd do if I was in that situation. I haven't quite compiled my list yet, but here's Shaun to share his... (Thanks, dude!)


Shaun's Deathday List

So maybe you've heard that I have this little book out called THE DEATHDAY LETTER. It's a book about a world where, the day before you die, you get a letter informing you so. Think of it like a 24 hour warning.

Anyway, Jenny thought it'd be fun for me to do a guest post where I described what I'd do if I got a deathday letter.

The first thing I'd do is ring my job and call out dead. They're nice and all but, if I've got 24 hours to live, I'm not spending it helping people put toner in their fax machines.

The second thing I'd do is call all my out of state friends and family and get them on airplanes to me. I thought about maybe taking a trip somewhere, but unless I'm planning on jumping out of it, I wouldn't want to spend any of my last day on an airplane. It's not like I'm worried about getting sick or anything, but none of my last few hours on earth should be spent with some crazy person drooling on my shoulder while I'm forced to watch Katherine Heigl's latest theatrical effort to induce mass suicide. Seriously. Her movies aren't RomComs, they're VomComs in that they make me want to vomit.

After that, I'd devote approximately one hour to tracking down one of my exes and punching him right in the nose, after which I'd spend approximately ten minutes laughing and five minutes feeling somewhat guilty.

I'd mostly wait until the end to gorge on all my favorite foods. Hanging out in the bathroom with indigestion is the LAST thing anyone wants to do on their last day. Strike that. The last thing anyone wants to do on their last day is be stuck in traffic, so I'd make sure that if I went anywhere, I'd go by helicopter. One with big windows so that I could randomly moon strangers old enough to be my grandparents.

When my friends and family finally arrived, I'd take them all to Disney. I'd cut every line for every ride and even make my roller coaster hating friends go on them. More than likely I'd get drunk and throw up on Mickey Mouse, but he'd probably deserve it. That mouse has shifty eyes.

After Disney, I'd call up the writers for Lost and thank them for nothing. I'd call the writers of Glee and thank them for a great first season. I'd stalk Joss Whedon on the phone for a while. And I'd go to a bookstore and read the last pages of as many books as I could in one hour.

When the day began to come to a close, I'd gather everyone in a restaurant...preferably one that cooked with a lot of bacon...and we'd spend my last few hours eating and talking and laughing.

Because at the end of the day, that's how I want to leave this world: surrounded by the people who make me laugh.

If you had one day to live, how would YOU spend it?

Thanks for having me!


Sasha said...

Haha--Awesome guest post! who new death could be funny :L

Denise Jaden said...

Hilarious, Shaun (and the book is even funnier).

What would I do on my deathday...hmmm, maybe fly to Florida (via helicopter) and let Shaun take me to Disneyworld.

Carla said...

I love Shaun he is ridiculously amazingly funny, but I like have no clue how I would spend my last day alive. *cough* Tube Boy.....what what!!! *cough* I'd probably spend it with family :-p said...

That is a hilarious post and he is sooo right!

So Many Books, So Little Time said...

That is a fantastic post! I really want to read The Deathday Letter now!

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